Crazy-Vampire123

Man, its been forever since I've done this, last time I wrote something I had so many plans for this year...than life happened...which really destroyed me this year so I can say, this hasn't been the best year for me and my goals.

For anyone curious, this year started OK but took a nose dive real fast, for those who don't know, I really don't want to repeat in full detail but someone I love got really sick during the beginning of this year, for those who know what I'm talking about, things are working out now, that person is going to be OK, I know things aren't going to be the same again but I'll take that. Through all this though, my mental health took a lot of damage, I guess I made it worse on myself though for not seeking help, I kept thinking to myself "I'm just upset, I need to focus on others and just tough it out" but honestly that just made it worse. Most of this year I've just been going with the flow, barely talking, haven't really been working on anything, barely living.

Its been the last few months were I just got tired of being trapped in my own head and wanted to be me again, so I've been working on my mental health and I feel like my mind has been clearer than its ever been. People might think its silly but I've been listening to messages and stuff by people on mental health and the more I listened, the more I realized I didn't need to keep myself trapped. I'm not saying I'm 100%, I still have my moments but I can work through them better than I use to. I feel more free to create now too, I always feared making fan art or dolls for or based on others because I kept telling myself "people are just going to hate it and mock you" and sure, I'll run into jerks who will but I don't care anymore, I want to make what I'm proud of and show it to who ever wants to look.

I've been ranting for a bit so my plans for next year, be more expressive, I'm taking back my life and I also want to say sorry to my friends, I haven't been a good friend just shutting people out, I hope you can forgive me.

Wanted to post this sooner but I felt like death was haunting me the last few days with a bad cold. I've decided to make some changes in my life that I hope to complete.

List:

1: become more social, I want to be more social and meet more people or have the courage to speak in large groups of people even if it is just typing.

2: work on myself, I want to make myself healthier in mind, body and soul so I've been working on myself, not expecting to be model thin but someone I can be proud of.

3: this one is a secret to everyone but this is a personal goal for myself, I fear if I tell anyone I might lose courage to do it, once I do it though I'll announce it.

Happy New Years everyone! I hope you're all having a good one (hopefully better than mine since I've been very sick lately) I've made myself one solid resolution this year that I hope to keep.

So I've been going through my works lately, both drawings and plushies and I want to put more into the plushies, its not that I will stop the drawings but I find my plushies come out better till I can get a better format for drawing. How its going to work is I'm going to make more folders like prototypes for projects that are being used to create bases for a steady flow of those plushies. New folders will also be made for plushies of a certain type like foxes, humanoid, etc. For the prototype page, its open for people to give their opinion on what things they believe need work or change, however if its something I feel works I doubt I will change it. If anyone has suggestions of future animal/creature designs leave a comment and I'll let you know if its possible or if I'm busy at the moment.